Your head is a living forest full of song birds.

coolscar:

"ive been kicked in the balls so i know what period cramps feel like"

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giveamanagame:

captainjamestklrk:

MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE

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SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING. 

your bird is an asshole

(Source: eragonsshadeslayer)


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231,596 notes   -   Posted 4 minutes ago

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.” 

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.” 

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188,287 notes   -   Posted 5 minutes ago

sexbangs:

august 31st, 11:59pm

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september 1st, 12:00am

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17,899 notes   -   Posted 6 minutes ago

A progression of bad language

hawlmuchalucha:

deans-left-buttcheek:

Kindergarten: Stupid. Oh gosh don’t tell anyone I said that.
Elementary school: What the heck.
Middle School: Damn it this is freaking dumb as hell
High school: what the fuck did you just say you little fucking shitbitchcuntfuck I will beat the dicks out of your ass

College: what the frick frack snick snack are u doing

(Source: hyvel)


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magelbites:

lol-post:

Are you playing with yourself?

BMO

magelbites:

lol-post:

Are you playing with yourself?

BMO
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(Source: baturday)

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jonesdavid813:

cyanblur:

cyanblur:

what do you call this color gradient?

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black to the fuchsia

oh my god


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442,066 notes   -   Posted 11 minutes ago